I wrote this poem earlier this year and I figured it was time that I shared it with the wider community. I’m also looking for feedback on how I could make it better.
CHILD NUMBER 8
Being child number 7 the expectations are greater
number 8, how are you handling all that pressure?
I just wanted you to look up to you big sister.
But things are not like they seem.
I once took that drink just to fit in
but that was a monster I let in.
Tossing and turning I swear I’d stop
until it became a cycle of loss.
Trust me, number 8, things are not like they seem.
I hid behind that smiling face
convincing myself everything’s ok
one more song, one more dance, one more drink I’d say
the sun is up, oh shucks it’s day.
Number 8, you’re growing, discovering yourself, still in school
don’t worry about being that unique fish in the pool.
Once in a pool you have no where to go
swimming round n’ round going with the flow.
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I wanted to share with you a bit of my research about the crucifixion. To me this is something that I always overlooked and just said kept on saying that it was the ultimate sacrifice. Yes, it is the ultimate sacrifice but have you ever stopped to think of Jesus as a person? Put yourself in His shoes and try being flogged by soldiers.
I wanted to walk this journey with Jesus and He’s really been giving me a glimpse of what He went through as I was throwing insults and mocking him.
The whips that the soldiers were using had multiple ends and on the ropes were tiny metal balls and tiny hooks. This means that every time he was hit he would either get instant blood blisters or his flesh was torn open. In Jewish law it was illegal to hit someone 40 times (40 was a number of death) and for some reason the Romans followed this law and only hit him 39 times. ONLY 39! This video shows what it might have looked like. Read the rest of this entry
I’m really dropping the ball on this blogging thing. It’s not that I’ve forgotten to write it’s that I just
haven’t been making the time the time for it I’ve been making excuses to not write. On a side note, I’ve actually been journaling a lot, I even wrote a few poems, I just haven’t been posting things.
I know, I know, I’m making more excuses but eh, nothing I can do about it now. Actually… YES…. there’s much that I can do and I’m asking your help to keep me accountable to blogging. If you notice that I haven’t been blogging do send me a friendly reminder saying yo bruh you’re failing at blogging. I promise that I won’t slam the door on your nose next time you visit.
To keep you update on my Australian NET journey I do have to say that things have been pretty rocky these past few weeks but really great at the same time. As I was told by someone I greatly admire there are three stages to living in community.
- The honeymoon stage where everything is unicorns, lollypops and butterflies.
- The you’re an idiot stage where everything is someone else’s fault and I’m the perfect person
- The wait a second… I’m and idiot too stage where you realize that you’re not as perfect as you thought.
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I noticed that my few last posts were more formal and I’ve been craving writing something much less formal, something more Céline.
The other day was fat Tuesday (the day before Ash Wednesday) and I went out for a run. I quite enjoy waking up early to spend some time with Jesus while running. I pump some great praise and worship, put on my shoes and just go. I never know where I’m going but I know when I get there.
While I was running I was having this conversation with Jesus. I had doubts, many doubts. Why am I here? Who am I to be here? What if I’m not called to be on this team? I kept questioning myself but Jesus came back to me quite fast. He said Céline, why not you? Why do you not trust me? You are here with reason and with purpose.
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I’m going to start with the really exciting news. I’m now living in Melbourne!!!
During our time on training the priest that was journeying with us got us good. We were blessed to have daily Mass with him which was great. During his homily he would often ask us questions pertaining to the readings so it wasn’t strange when he started asking us questions before Mass had even started. What was strange was that he was dressed in red on a day that wasn’t the memorial of a martyr and it wasn’t Pentecost either. As he was standing the front, he questioned and we were only getting more and more confused as to why he was wearing red. THEN out of no where he said something like Red is the colour associated to the Holy Spirit and we’re going to announce the teams!!!
I was caught off guard and wasn’t sure how to react. Everyone around me had mixed emotions as well. We knew team announcement was soon to happen but not that soon. Some people were crying, some laughing and others were just in shock. I was definitely in shock. Read the rest of this entry
Here I’m sitting on
my bed the bed at my host family enjoying the cool breeze coming through the window. I’M EXHAUSTED! I’m still stuck on Manitoba time and yet I’m 16 hours away from that. Yep, you read that right and for those of you that have been following then you probably put two and two together. I’M IN AUSTRALIA!!!!
The heat is incredible and the humidity is different. Needless to say, I already have a sunburn. I had not been here 24 hours yet and the sun is already attacking me 😥
But that’s ok, I should have applied not just two layers of sunscreen but five instead. On the bright side I got to see kangaroos, koalas, wombats, cockatoos and much more.
We had our orientation yesterday and it has only proven to me that this is where I’m supposed to be. I’m nervous, anxious but also joyful and anticipating the many good things that will come out of this year.
It’s going to be really hard to keep updating my blog but I promise you that I will be doing my best. I want to warn you that for the next 5-6 weeks I won’t have Internet. That means I won’t be posting anything but that’s ok as you’re probably tired of reading all about my nothingness.
And here for you enjoyment, a few pictures I took the other day.
You can still email me but I won’t answer back until training is done. I love you guys and can’t wait to catch up in 6 weeks ❤
And mom, don’t worry, I will be coming back home at the end of this year.
My Catholic Living
Ok so, as many of you know, I come from a farming family. It’s pretty cool because we actually get fresh milk from the farm instead of that expensive store bought stuff. MMM real milk.
When we want milk, we don’t actually go milk a cow but rather go to the holding tank that keeps the milk cool and fresh. MMM real milk.
Last night my mother asked my sister and I to get milk. I was so tired that I fell asleep on the couch basically right after supper (and maybe I was also avoiding going outside in the cold). Either way when I woke up the next day I knew we still had to get the milk.
It was in the late morning when we finally summed up the courage to open the front door and face that deep snow to fill those two jugs of milk. The blowing snow made it hard to even find the car but eventually as we dusted it off and cleared the window we thought we would able to make it. I backed out and thought eh I can do this. Then I saw more snow and told my sister we’re not going to make it. And she quickly replied Don’t doubt yourself, you’re going to make it! Read the rest of this entry
That was a beautiful honest confession. Those were the most beautiful words I heard yesterday.
I have both a confession and a story of grace for you. The confession is that I recently made the decision that I would restart drinking but only socially. This decisions wasn’t easy to make and I had actually consulted a few people about it as I really had not drank for about 3 years. Sounds legit right? Well long story short in just a few days I had completely over done it.
BUT I learned a lot from this, not only from the mistakes but from something else. From December 30th to January 1st I volunteered from something called Operation Red Nose.
The mission of Operation Red Nose is to encourage responsible behaviour (in a non-judgmental manner) with regard to impaired driving by enabling communities to provide a free and confidential chauffeur service to their members, the financial benefits of which are redistributed to local organizations dedicated to youth.
So basically I got to drive people and their vehicle to a home location. You can read more about the service here.
On the first day I was the escort driver meaning that I got in the person’s vehicle accompanied by a navigator and our clients and we were followed by our other main vehicle. On the second day I was the navigator which also meant that I was the one doing the paper work. The second time, new years eve and new years morning, was a bit more of a challenge as we had call after call. Our team started around 11pm and got back to headquarters at 3:45 am and had around six calls. We had 12 teams on the road and if every team had between five and nine calls that meant that around 84 people were home safe and didn’t have to worry about finding their vehicle the next day.
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Hello my peeps!
I know, I know it’s been a while and so many things have changed. I’m now jobless and homeless but don’t worry about me because I have a goooood family and an even better plan. In just over a week I will be on my merry way to Australia for something crazy. Crazy? What daaa?? What does Celine have in store now?
Well like I told you a few weeks ago, I am joining NET Australia! Whoop whoop!
Now today, I’m sitting beside my lovely sister mlle Goule and she will be writing about everything that crosses her mind for the next 5 minutes. GO!
Since Céline has no idea what I’m typing at the moment and will not see this until she proofreads I will take this opportunity to tell you about her. Céline is a beautiful human being whom I have not always appreciated.
When we were little she was my babysitter and man oh man did we fight. I don’t mean actual fist fights, more like me throwing a peanut butter jar at her head and only slightly missing but ending up hitting the wall and making a small dent that our mom only found out about this year. Her type of discipline would be locking me up in the bathroom instead of my room since I wouldn’t have any toys to play with. Read the rest of this entry
Here goes the last push of the my time in the Archdiocese. I do have to say that it will be really hard for me to leave because of all the contacts and good friends I’ve made. My eyes water just to the thought of leaving (who put these onions here?)
Just as I was going to write about the upcoming weeks a song came up and the lyrics made so much sense. Now, I know that many of you know this song by Kenny Rogers, The Gambler, but I’m going to dig a bit in some of the lyrics. I know what I’m about to say isn’t exactly fitting with the rest of the song but eh, it’s what caught my attention.
You got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away, know when to run.
This reminds me of God’s will and how sometimes (often) we try to do our own will.
Ego, in my opinion stands for Edging God Out as when we think about ourselves we completely forget about God. This line reminds me of the spirit of discernment. We have to know when to pursue something, when to put it on
the back burner and when to stop. If it’s meant to be God will bring it up again. Know when to run. Run when you know it’s not God’s will as it will only cause disaster.
Every gambler knows that the secret to survivin’ is knowin’ what to throw away and knowin’ what to keep. ‘Cause every hand’s a winner and every hand’s a loser.
Knowing what to throw away and knowing what to keep. If you have a friends that always complains and keeps talking about themselves and you can never share what is on your mind. Is that a throw away or a keep? Read the rest of this entry