Discovering my vocation

As I’m writing this I only have 20 days left in Haiti. This journey has been going by too fast. I don’t want to leave but yet I’m really excited to take a new step in life. Like I said before, I got here in October 2014 and I’m here until July 1st (that’s right I’m coming back for Canada day :P)

I came to Haiti to be away from my family to discern religious life. Before coming here I thought I was called to religious life. Last year I lived in a community of young adults and absolutely loved it. Now I’m living with les Soeurs de Sainte-Croix (Sisters of Holy Cross) which are pretty cool and awesome. They have helped me grow deeper in my faith, encouraged me to pray more often and have a personal relationship with God. But through all these things I know that I’m not called to religious life. I’ve been getting many signs from God but the biggest one was the following.

One day, I was praying alone in a church, it was quiet, peaceful and beautiful. The sun was shinning perfectly on the tabernacle. I could feel God’s presence. I was praying about my vocation and all of a sudden this little girl came running in the church, came right up to me, called me ‘manman’ (which is mom in Creole) and gave me this big hug. This was a special moment for me because it felt like I was seeing my own daughter running up to me and calling me mom. All I could do was look back at the tabernacle with tears flowing from my eyes and thank the Lord for everything that He has done, is doing and will do for me.

I’ve always dreamed of having children but I never knew how sincere I was in this dream. Though I’m really excited to have kids, many kids, I still have to practice patience and find a husband (that’s the hard part).

I’m still learning to trust God with my life. Sometimes, even often it’s tough to trust that He has a plan for me. But I know that He won’t give up on me even though I give up on Him. This is why prayer is important. How can God know what I want if I don’t talk to Him. Prayer is having a conversation with our Lord. If I talk, talk, talk and talk some more I won’t be listening to what He has to tell me. But if I only listen He won’t know my true desires of the heart.

This is what has been on my heart in the last few days. I hope it makes sense. Also, please keep the kids at the orphanage in your prayers as the go ‘home’ (to either their father’s place, a relative or just someone they know) for the summer. At first I didn’t like the idea of the kids leaving the orphanage for the summer because I thought they had no where to go but most of these kids have a father but no mother. It’s a good reality check for them because when they will leave the orphanage for good they will have already experienced real life.

These kids are in my prayers and I hope you keep them in yours.

-My Catholic Living

Letter to my future husband <3

To my dearest future husband,

I have been thinking a lot about you lately and I can’t wait to meet you so that we can share our lives together, the two of us become one.

The other day I was looking at wedding dresses on the Internet, you’re probably not even thinking about planning a wedding yet. You’re probably studying, working, playing video games and hanging out with your guy friends. I want to let you know that I want you to keep hanging out with your guy friends, they are important relationships to keep and maintain.

Before we meet I want you to know that God will be the center of our relationship. He will be with us in the good times and the bad times. We will lead each other closer to God and through Him we will fall more and more in love.

I’m currently working on my relationship with God. I have a hard time making the time for Him but I still put in a good effort. Even though I’m impatient and can’t wait to meet you, I know I will have to wait. I need to know my God better before we meet. Maybe we already know each other or maybe we don’t be please know that you are already in my prayers. I pray that God prepares our hearts for one another. I pray that you will love me with all of your heart and that you will stay true to me.

We both have a past, I’m proud of some things but other things I regret from my past but they have shaped me to be the woman that I am today. I want you to know that whatever your past may be I accept it. If God permitted it to happen then I can accept it too. Please accept my past as well. I know that I’ve done things that you may not love or accept but I have asked for forgiveness for them.

God has worked through those struggles and made me a stronger woman because of them. I have my crosses to carry and you also have yours but know that I’m here to help you and support you in your struggles and in your times of need. I want to be there for you like I want you to be there for me.

Even though I don’t even know who you are yet I want you to know that every day I keep thinking of you and I love you more and more. The love I have for you is indescribable. How can I love someone I have never met? It can only happen through God. God works in mysterious ways. He knows our past, our present and our future. He knows how to work with and through us. He knows our needs and fulfills them.

My dearest future husband know that I love and respect you. I pray that you let God work though you, that you give him your heart and that you keep getting to know our Savior.

Until we meet and united in prayer,

– My Catholic Living