As I’m writing this I only have 20 days left in Haiti. This journey has been going by too fast. I don’t want to leave but yet I’m really excited to take a new step in life. Like I said before, I got here in October 2014 and I’m here until July 1st (that’s right I’m coming back for Canada day :P)
I came to Haiti to be away from my family to discern religious life. Before coming here I thought I was called to religious life. Last year I lived in a community of young adults and absolutely loved it. Now I’m living with les Soeurs de Sainte-Croix (Sisters of Holy Cross) which are pretty cool and awesome. They have helped me grow deeper in my faith, encouraged me to pray more often and have a personal relationship with God. But through all these things I know that I’m not called to religious life. I’ve been getting many signs from God but the biggest one was the following.
One day, I was praying alone in a church, it was quiet, peaceful and beautiful. The sun was shinning perfectly on the tabernacle. I could feel God’s presence. I was praying about my vocation and all of a sudden this little girl came running in the church, came right up to me, called me ‘manman’ (which is mom in Creole) and gave me this big hug. This was a special moment for me because it felt like I was seeing my own daughter running up to me and calling me mom. All I could do was look back at the tabernacle with tears flowing from my eyes and thank the Lord for everything that He has done, is doing and will do for me.
I’ve always dreamed of having children but I never knew how sincere I was in this dream. Though I’m really excited to have kids, many kids, I still have to practice patience and find a husband (that’s the hard part).
I’m still learning to trust God with my life. Sometimes, even often it’s tough to trust that He has a plan for me. But I know that He won’t give up on me even though I give up on Him. This is why prayer is important. How can God know what I want if I don’t talk to Him. Prayer is having a conversation with our Lord. If I talk, talk, talk and talk some more I won’t be listening to what He has to tell me. But if I only listen He won’t know my true desires of the heart.
This is what has been on my heart in the last few days. I hope it makes sense. Also, please keep the kids at the orphanage in your prayers as the go ‘home’ (to either their father’s place, a relative or just someone they know) for the summer. At first I didn’t like the idea of the kids leaving the orphanage for the summer because I thought they had no where to go but most of these kids have a father but no mother. It’s a good reality check for them because when they will leave the orphanage for good they will have already experienced real life.
These kids are in my prayers and I hope you keep them in yours.
-My Catholic Living