This has been a tough week all over. Two people passed away yesterday, two on Friday, one today and a suicide on Thursday.
Death is such a hard thing and we can’t fully understand it. People die from natural causes and some people die from unnatural causes. but both are hard to handle.
Long story short I’ve been living with priests for the past 5 months and I’ve been hearing more and more about all these deaths. Because of the certain situation I’m in I hear more about the families and their backgrounds. And this has been making it harder on me, especially for the suicides.
I take my good health and my family for granted. I take my friends and the food I eat for granted. I’m a very lucky person for all the things I have. God has blessed me with many good things. I could never understand the thoughts that would lead someone to commit suicide. They say that the people who are thinking about committing such a thing leave signs but these sign are not always noticeable or obvious.
I can personally say that I have thought about suicide but I have never planned to actually act on it. I mean the thought crosses my mind but then I remember my friends, my family and my purpose. God gave all of us a purpose on this earth. What is my purpose? My purpose is to be who God made me to be. Yes I have fears and failures but I don’t dwell in them. Instead I concentrate on my strengths and the gifts that He gave me.
God gave me the gift of being a great public speaker but yet I’m quite a shy person. Managing these two is hard but I have to find the just balance. As a youth minister I have to start a lot of conversation, share about my past and teach in a way people can understand. I have no problem doing that when I’m talking in front of a crowd but when it comes to one on one I tend stutter or forget my train of thought. Why am I like that? Only God knows but it sure is something I’m working on.
We all have gifts and talents and it’s up to us to discover them. For some people it’s obvious, like a musician or a cook but for others it might be hiding. We can’t judge without knowing or trying. Keep an openness to trying new things.
This leads me to our fears. Many people have fears… actually everyone has fears; fears of failure and fears of judgement. What do we do when we sense fear? We often run away from the situation instead of facing it. But is running away really going to fix the situation? No it won’t and if anything it’s only going to make it worse. Instead of running away we should get to the root of the problem. Trust me, I know it’s not easy but at least it opens the door to healing. Healing is a long process when we go through such traumatic things but the healing is a necessity. It’s when we don’t heal that we resort to what we think is best, suicide.
I read these questions in my 12 steps book and they really made me think. So I wanted to share them with you.
Do I have any unresolved problems in my life? What am I clinging on to that is not healthy?
-My Catholic Living