I can’t remember if I wrote about the Oratory of Saint Joseph before and I’m too lazy to go check. If I’m repeating myself please forgive me.
Today with the Rise Up Conference we went to the Oratory of Saint Joseph and it was quite special because we had mass and it was led by Luigi Bonazzi, Apostolic Nuncio to Canada, Titular Archbishop of Atella. All that to say that he’s pretty high up there.
But I do have to say that staying awake during his homily was quite a challenge… and a challenge that I failed. I most definitely fell asleep out of tiredness. Don’t get me wrong I’ve been sleeping fine here in the 5 star hotel but just having a busy schedule is making me so tired. Plus his voice was like a lullaby so it just put my to sleep. At first I was (as we say in french) cogner des clous. The direct translation to this is hitting nails but it’s an expression that means that I was doxing off. You know when you’re kinda awake but then your head kinda just falls forward then you get back up and it keeps doing that? Well that’s what I was doing just dozing off and I saw other people doing it so I kinda just let go and closed my eyes and hoped to God I wouldn’t snore. I actually didn’t intend on sleeping and I actually don’t think I fell asleep…I was just…hmm…deep in prayer….
Ok ok I’m trying to justify myself again….
This Oratory is a special place for me because of Saint Brother André. He was part of the brothers of Holy Cross and last year/earlier this year I was journeying with the Sisters of Holy Cross. I just feel like I have this connection with the Oratory because of the journey I had with the sisters. I am no longer journeying with these sisters because I feel called to something else but I do have to say that I do like that congregation.
Mercy, mercy, mercy I keep repeating this over and over in my head. Mercy is something incredible. Having such a dark past and knowing that God always had His arms open to me just blows my mind. I see God as a father teaching his baby to walk. When a father teaches their child to walk their arms are wide open and they keep encouraging their child to take one more step. The father knows that the child might fall and hurt themselves but he is always there to pick them up and help them.
Maybe I’m dreaming big but hope that if I get married my husband will be the type of father that will spend a lot of time with his children. This is something I didn’t have growing up. I never spent time with my father and he never spent time with me and now I regret it. Yes, I know I always say don’t regret anything because regret leads no where. This is something I’ve been working on and trust me it’s not easy. But God’s mercy is strong, God’s love is bringing healing to our situation. God is bringing my father and I closer but only if we both put the effort in it. God is working in our lives and we have to open our eyes and see the marvellous things He’s doing. We can stay blind and ignore the things He’s doing or we can see the beauty in every single situation. Seeing the positive in every situation and know that God permitted us to experience certain things.
If God didn’t want me to party He wouldn’t of let me but He did I and learned a lot about my faith going through that. Trust that God has a plan for you. You are not made to be someone else, you were made to be you. Just like bl. Mother Teresa said (paraphrasing) You will never be able to do what I do. This sounds really harsh but once you know what she said after that you’ll understand. She said something like this but I’ll never be able to do what you do. Wow! And it’s so true. We are all made in God’s image, we all have a purpose and we all live this purpose differently.
This conference is inspiring me to do more with my life. I know God is pushing me to do something greater but what is it? I’ll bring it to prayer and please I ask you too to pray for me. What is God calling me to do? This calling doesn’t have to be anything big but rather it might be many different small things.
What is God calling me to do now?
-My Catholic Living