Here I am sitting in my office looking at my schedule for the next three months thinking Why am I working in youth ministry again? I’m frustrated, confused, annoyed, stressed out but so filled with joy!
My schedule is jam packed with a whole bunch of good stuff but how the heck am I going to find the energy to survive? I don’t have a free weekend until mid March and most of my weeks are filled with youth gatherings. This feeling brought me back when I first started working in youth ministry. I thought I would eventually run out of things to talk about and yet new subjects keeps coming up.
This weekend I will be talking about my conversion story which could be done in 2 minutes or it could take an hour. But this time I’m just giving the short version.
On Monday I’ll be going to one of the First Nation Reserves that I’ve been to a few times and we’ll have youth gatherings in the evening. I haven’t planned anything yet for these ones because it’s more of a go with the flow evening. We’ll be having these gatherings until Friday and then I’ll be heading to another community.
Next weekend I’ll be giving my conversion story again but in a different community. And my schedule keeps filling up this way.
Why do I like doing what I do? For a few reasons and the main one is that I know through my sharing God is working through me. He’s allowing me to receive some healing and to invite others to the faith.
I pray for all these people I encounter and especially those who challenge what I share. I mostly talk about my own personal experience because it’s what I know and it’s what I lived. And by sharing this way I can talk more from the heart.
I love what I do because I get to hear many different story and get to meet so many people. I get to learn different traditions and cultures. I love what I do because it’s where God is calling to be right now. I love what I do because it’s a challenge and I love challenges.
I had to stop and think about why I am doing what I’m doing. I needed a reminder that I’m not doing this for myself but rather for God. One step at a time, one day at time God is guiding me closer to his heart.
On a side note I got to see baby Adrien this morning at mass. I wasn’t expecting him to be there but he was. It was a gift from God since I wasn’t having a good morning. I woke up late, didn’t have time to take a shower, was late for community morning prayer.
I wasn’t going to go to mass because I have a lot of things to work on but I figured that mass was a higher priority in the moment. Just as I walked into the chapel I saw him and held him in my arms. I really didn’t want to let him go.
I have never had such an attachment to child like this before. It’s going to be hard seeing him go back to his biological mother. Please God protect my little boy. Just as I’m writing this my eyes are tear-filled knowing that I will have to let him go. I spoke with the foster mom and she said that he will probably go back with his mother when he’s 6 months 😥 I should be happy that he’ll be with his real mommy but at the same time this doesn’t give me much time to hang out with him. It leaves me just under 4 months.
What is my purpose right now? What is God calling me to do?
My Catholic Living