Beep Beep! *hits snooze*

I have an alarm clock set for 7:15 and at 7:20. I know it’s a bad sign when I wake up and set another alarm at 7:30. This happened this morning.tired

I probably fell asleep around midnight which is early for me and I woke up once in the night thinking I was late for work then I looked at my clock and it said 4:27, phew! I still have time to chill. I thought I wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep so I started praying Hail Mary Full of…….. Gone, I was gone! Hurray! Victory dance (obviously I wasn’t conscious at the time to dance and celebrate)

Then out of no where I here ‘BEEP BEEP BEEP’ NOOOOOOO I did not want to hear that so I turned it off. Sleep Céline Sleep just close your eyes concentrate on sleeping, it’s ok take a deep breath and sleep. (Obviously when I’m concentrating on trying to sleep I’m just waking myself up but eh what can I do?) Then out of no where ‘BEEP BEEP BEEP’ Not again!!!!! I don’t think I can take it anymore.…. So I got up, eyes all crusty, drool on the side of my face, hair all messy (but it actually looked good) and bad breath, sounds like it’s going to be a great day…ugh! Continue reading “Beep Beep! *hits snooze*”

Sapientia

ce3c204f02bd3321801edb71919e2e24Now I’m not the Latin expert but please correct me if I’m wrong. If I’m not mistaken Sapientia means wisdom in Latin…. If there’s a Latin expert reading this and if you know I’m wrong please correct me.

Today our lunch conversation was all about wisdom. Is wisdom obtained, is it given are we born with wisdom. These are all good questions but before I dive into this what is wisdom?

According to Google wisdom is:
The soundness of an action or decision with regard to the application of experience, knowledge, and good judgment.

That being said we might be born with wisdom BUT not the capacity of using it. Once we start remembering is when we can start using this gift of wisdom. I’m a strong believer of infant baptism and this mean that the children baptized receive the gifts of the Holy Spirit even before they know how to use them. But does that mean that someone who isn’t baptized doesn’t have the gift of the Holy Spirit? Well now I’m not an expert on this but I believe that anything is possible for God so I believe it’s still possible from someone who isn’t baptized to receive the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

Baptism is the sacrament of initiation just like confession is the sacrament of penance. What I’m trying to get to is that someone can be baptized and not use the gifts just like someone can go to confession but not be absolved. This means that someone who isn’t baptized can still use their sense of wisdom but they don’t know it’s from God. Just like someone can still be forgiven without going to confession. God holds us accountable to what we know. The more we know the more God will ask from us.

So why don’t we stop learning and just live for our earthy desires? Well, if we are being ignorant then we are being held accountable for that too.

Wisdom is also something we have to work on. I have to work on it by learning from my experience, I have to work on it by researching, I have to work on by listening to other people.

Age doesn’t mean someone is wiser but rather experience and understanding lead to wisdom. For example if someone who 60 years old, single, still lives with his mommy and daddy, has never travelled, has never had a job then this person doesn’t have much life experience to gain wisdom compared to another person who bought a house, is married, has 5 kids, works and travels once a year.

This is from the O’ Antiphon: O Wisdom, you came forth from the mouth of the Most High and, reaching from beginning to end, you ordered all things mightily and sweetly.  Come, and teach us the way of prudence. 

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 All of this to say that God I need your help, I need you to help me be more wise so that I may better understand your will for me so that I may better follow you. Jesus, my sweet Jesus I love you please guide me to be the woman you are calling me to be.
My Catholic Living ❤

We’re all Lenting!

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Yo peeps! Yes I just said Lenting, I know that’s not a word but I think you kinda understand what I mean when I say that.
I guess Lent is officially here but what does that mean? Where does Lent come from? What is it? Let me explore this…

So lent come from Jesus being in the desert for 40 days. He knew something big was going to happen and he was getting ready for it. What was this thing that was going to happen? Jesus’ death and resurrection, His crucifixion. Lent is a time of patience, penance, sacrifice, purification and conversion. It’s about seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

We are all called to have conversions everyday, something that brings us closer to God. During Lent there is an obligation to fast from meat on Fridays (with a few exceptions) Continue reading “We’re all Lenting!”

Psalm 51

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We were praying liturgy of the hour this morning and this psalm really stood out to me. I heard it and prayed it many times but this time it was different.

This is exactly how it is written in my breviary:

Psalm 51
O God, have mercy on me
Your inmost being must be renewed, and you must put on the new man (Ephesians 4:23-24).

Have mercy on me, God, in your kindness.
In your compassion blot out my offense.
O wash me more and more from my guilt
and cleanse me from my sin.

Continue reading “Psalm 51”

Frenglish and un p’tit peu de Créole

I’ll do something very different today and I’ll blog in frenglish and maybe a bit of creole.

Alors, où est ce que je commence? Cette semaine est très busy mais je feel comme rien faire. Tsé quand ton assiette est pleine mais t’as pas faim? Mais juste pour plaire tes parents tu manges. Well, c’est comme ca que’j’me sens. J’ai beaucoup beaucoup de choses à faire tel qu’organiser un retraite à la fin du mois, planifier un chemin de croix, organiser un conference call et puis somewhere in there dormir.

I guess you can say that I’ve been keeping busy avec mon travail et je ne consacre pas assez de temps pour moi même. Tout ça pour dire que j’ai hâte pour mon prochain day off. That will be le 15 février and it can’t get here soon enough. Ce jour est ‘journée Louis Riel’. If you don’t know who that is I suggest you read a bit about this guy. Long story short he’s the founder of Manitoba (the province I’m from).

Kouneya m’ap pale ti kal kreyol. M’pè ke m’pral pèd kreyol mwen.

Ok that’s enough. For the people out there who speak more than one language, do you have a preferred language to pray in? Since I work in english and pray liturgy of the hour in english for me right now it’s easier to pray in english. But send me to my parents place for a few days and I would be back to praying in french. It’s funny how these things work.

I hope you’re having a great Ash Wednesday!!!!

See ya later peeps

This is the first time since I’ve been working here that I’m happy to leave a certain community. Usually I feel sad knowing that I won’t see these people for a few months but this time I’m happy I won’t see them for a while.

I am emotionally drained and yet I have to keep my energy up for the next community. I’m heading to another community later today but what I’ll be doing there is much easier. I will only be giving a quick presentation after masses. I’ve given this presentation a few times already so I don’t have much to prepare.

I will be staying with another priest and I know this one is more compassionate. Maybe he will permit me to have a small rant about what happened on Thursday. Maybe I will be able to have a good confession and I will fully able to accept His forgiveness. I have wanted to go to confession to this priest for a while because he is also a recovering addict and he could really understand how I feel about certain things.

It’s great when we share similar experience with someone else because it gives something to talk about and a deeper understanding of situations. This is what I’m hoping for but whether or not I find the courage to have these conversations is different.

I hope you have a great weekend and please pray that the roads aren’t too icy. I hope to make it to this next community in one piece.

Oh and a side note, the place where I’ll be going later today is super chill! The priest asked me if I wanted to ice fishing with him, one can’t say no to that.  Hurray for ice fishing!!! I promise you guys that if I catch a fish I will post a picture of it. But fishing will have to wait until the next time I go to this community.

My Catholic Living

Frustration leading to a bit of Hope

This might lead to a rant and I’m sorry if it does but I can’t go swimming so I have to take my frustration out somehow.6180af88c7b0622a1108a8775031ec63

I’m slowly trying to let go of my own will and this journey has not been easy. But the more I let go the more I can get to know God and the more I get to know Him the more I can fall in love with Him and have real peace, love and joy in my life.

That being said I have a pretty good idea where God is sending me and my mind is still very closed to this idea. I want to fully let go and let Him lead me there but I feel like I won’t me happy, like I won’t be fulfilled. My will and God’s will don’t align this very moment and it’s only been causing frustration and confusion in my life.

It’s also affecting my work life. Last night I was leading a youth gathering and it really didn’t go well. Kids were fist fighting, someone had a nose bleed, people crying, running on table, breaking table, playing with the lights. I had to kick some of the kids out but father brought them back in against my better judgement. Oh yea and then I forgot to mention the food fight and people throwing water all of the place. I couldn’t handle all of this. I was physically ready for all this because the evening usually go by that pace but I wasn’t emotionally ready.

When it was time to leave I told the kids, packed my stuff and told them to go home (they all walk to go to the hall so we can start and end at whatever time I want, remember, this is native time). They absolutely refused to leave. The younger kids left no problem because they were really happy that they still had time to go sledding but the older kids did everything to rebel against me.

I was fed up so I left without locking the hall. I went to the rectory (where I’m currently staying) sat on the couch and the priest living there had just enough time to ask me how I am and I didn’t want to show my frustration so I was just going to say I’m ok but then I started crying.

I wasn’t looking for attention, I was just done, tired, frustrated, angry and then the unthinkable happens, the kids come knocking on the door. I didn’t want them to see what kind of state I was in so I went to the chapel while father went outside to lock the hall door. I thought father would of shown a bit of love or respect when he came back to the house but he just kept saying that I was acting like them because I was crying. This only made me feel more angry and I really didn’t want to talk to him at this point. I just wanted to have some chill time with Jesus.

But he kept asking me to go see the kids because they wanted to apologize to me. I didn’t want to hear that because they apologized so many times that evening but it meant nothing. Against my will I went downstairs talked to them for about 30 seconds then the priest told them to leave.

It was so awkward when the kids left because the priest kept blaming me for crying, he kept saying it was useless and saying that I was childish. I know we all have problems/crosses but sometimes our cross can feel heavier than others (especially after an evening like I had) but to him it didn’t matter how I felt. What mattered at the time was that I put a fake smile on and kept hanging out with the kids.

All of this to say ‘Please God work through my brokenness’.

But it did get a bit better later in the evening because some of the kids came back and they gave me a card and a flower. I mean I was still not in a good of mind but it did make the situation better. Tonight I refuse to have a gathering in the hall because it’s such a big mess and I don’t think I could take it but we might go skating instead. Maybe skating will be a good way for them to waste their energy. I won’t be in charge of them so I will be able to leave when I want to.

Father almighty, you know I love these kids but you also know they are testing my patience. Every times I ask for more patience you put me in these situations. I don’t think I’ll pray for patience anymore….

My Catholic Living