As many of you know, I struggle with alcohol and I’m quite open about it. One drink leads to two and two leads to three and three leads to I don’t remember.
I haven’t had a drink for a few months now and it feels great. The people I live with have a drink everyone once in a while and sometimes I think maybe just this once. But I know I can’t fall into that.
On Saturday I was asked by someone to go to the liquor store and buy a 12 pack of beer. It’s just buying beer right? It shouldn’t be that tough. On the drive there (which isn’t too far) I kept thinking Should I buy something for myself? How am I going to feel going in there? Why am I doing this? And as soon as I entered I saw everything, the wine, the beer and the liquor. It really brought me back to my old self but it made me think of who I am today.
The person who asked me to buy beer knows a bit about my past but I don’t think he knows how bad it was. He doesn’t know much about American beer so he told me to pick the best one. I actually had fun going around the store and picking something. I came back home with a 12 pack of Corona. Something light but good.
Sometimes when we think too much about a situation we let out thoughts go wild. I was overthinking going to this store and buying beer. Deep down I knew I wasn’t going to buy anything for myself because I didn’t bring extra money and I didn’t want to live the consequences. I just let my mind go wild.
How often do we anticipate without actually having a good cause to anticipate? It’s not so much about thinking about what CAN happen but rather of what WILL happen. God has been challenging me in this area, a challenge to grow in trust, in love and even in joy.
God, on this marvellous day I ask you to bless all people reading this especially the ones who have deep interior struggles. Keep send in your spirit of joy that we may better live out the will you have for us. We love you God even though we don’t always show it. We thank you for all you have done in our lives. Please help me fall more and more in love with you. Je t’aime Seigneur.