Dating, so many questions and so many uncertainties.
Sometimes we enter into a relationship more so for the status than the other person but hopefully more often it’s because we see a future with this other person. Dating has such a new meaning in this day in age and we really lost the original meaning. Why do we date??
In my perspective dating is all about seeing if the other person is compatible for marriage, it’s about leading the other person closer to heaven. If you can’t lead the other person closer to heaven while dating then you won’t be able to do such thing during marriage. You see, many people think
Oh when we get married I’m going to change this about my spouse but we really can’t think that way because if someone wants change it has to come from within and not from someone else. What you see is what you get.
Yes, we can help initiate the change but that doesn’t mean the other person will be receptive to it. We live in a constantly changing world but know that God is always the same. He never changes, we change. And so if you have that common interest, that common faith, you will have something that doesn’t change in common. Though we also have to understand that our relationship with God does change and hopefully for the better. The person you are dating should be helping you strengthen that Godly relationship.
Summer flings, is that ok? In my opinion this is a simple question with a simple answer, no. What is the purpose of a summer fling? Instead of starting a summer fling why not get to know the person. We try to label every single relationship we have, why can’t people just be friends. Is the summer long enough to get to know someone? Maybe long enough to get to know about them but not long enough to know if this is something worth pursuing. If you decide to jump into a summer fling then you will be playing with your own heart and someone else’s heart as the summer is only 93 days.
Now, why am I writing about this? Long story short, I was interested in someone and I know this guy was interested as well and we talked about possibly labeling our relationship as dating. Whenever I would bring up the topic he would instantly change it. Why? Because commitment scared him. Dating is a commitment but it’s not like marriage as there are no vows. He wanted to talk to other women while still being with me. Yes, he can talk to other woman but not behind my back (which is was he was doing). He didn’t want me around when they would call. These are all red flags.
Ladies, if your boyfriend is making you uncomfortable please rethink your situation. It’s never too late to go back. If he’s doing these things while dating he will most likely do theses things after you are married.
All this dating thing has only confused me more and more about my future but has encouraged me to discern more fully my vocation. I’m open to both married life and religious life and because of what just happened I’m leaning one way but that might be my way of coping with the situation.
Pray, pray, pray as this is the relationship that matters the most. Keep God really close by participating in the sacraments especially Reconciliation and Eucharist, we can never get too much of God
Keep good company because our friends are a reflexion of who we are but don’t be afraid to spend time on your own. Time to reflect on life, to praise God and to even to pray for your future spouse.
Have you ever thought about your future spouse? What are they doing right now? Would they approve of what I’m doing right now?
My Catholic Living