That was a beautiful honest confession. Those were the most beautiful words I heard yesterday.
I have both a confession and a story of grace for you. The confession is that I recently made the decision that I would restart drinking but only socially. This decisions wasn’t easy to make and I had actually consulted a few people about it as I really had not drank for about 3 years. Sounds legit right? Well long story short in just a few days I had completely over done it.
BUT I learned a lot from this, not only from the mistakes but from something else. From December 30th to January 1st I volunteered from something called Operation Red Nose.
The mission of Operation Red Nose is to encourage responsible behaviour (in a non-judgmental manner) with regard to impaired driving by enabling communities to provide a free and confidential chauffeur service to their members, the financial benefits of which are redistributed to local organizations dedicated to youth.
So basically I got to drive people and their vehicle to a home location. You can read more about the service here.
On the first day I was the escort driver meaning that I got in the person’s vehicle accompanied by a navigator and our clients and we were followed by our other main vehicle. On the second day I was the navigator which also meant that I was the one doing the paper work. The second time, new years eve and new years morning, was a bit more of a challenge as we had call after call. Our team started around 11pm and got back to headquarters at 3:45 am and had around six calls. We had 12 teams on the road and if every team had between five and nine calls that meant that around 84 people were home safe and didn’t have to worry about finding their vehicle the next day.
I would never drive under the influence because I would be putting too many lives in danger. But something that was eye opening on the first evening was that I was driving a couple’s vehicle and we got flagged down by a police officer. I was nervous because:
1. It’s never fun getting stopped by police.
2. I wasn’t driving my own vehicle.
The police officer walks up to the window and says ma’am have you been drinking? I didn’t even have the time to reply before he said oh you’re sober, very sober as he saw I was wearing a Operation Red Nose vest. As we drove away, the woman in the back immediately said that would of been a DUI if I was driving.
All in all, I had a blast helping out and hearing all these hilarious stories. I was reminded that I can have a lot of fun while still being sober. God willing I will volunteer again next Christmas season.
Back to my confession part, yesterday, I went to a badly needed confession. I had strayed away from God in a way I had not done in a long time. I was really nervous but knew that it was best to rip the bandaid fast rather then let it linger.
I confessed like it was nobodies business. This priest was really attentive as if he knew exactly what I was going through and after listening to me he said words that were touching That was a beautiful honest confession. And it really was as I just poured everything out. That right there reminded me that yes I had fallen. Yes, I am weak. Yes, I was down low and felt like crap but yet I was able to sum up the courage to seek help and to seek forgiveness.
Sometimes we can get caught up in the routine of confession but this time was completely different. Something to be remembered.
To be honest I don’t feel forgiven but the slate has been wiped clean. Receiving the Eucharist today was amazing, I didn’t feel worthy but I was in a state where I could receive. God doesn’t concentrate on how we feel but rather on the state we’re in.
Starting the new year with a clean slate was great and encouraging. I hope that you have been taking advantage of this beautiful sacrament at our hands. God is always waiting for you to come closer to His heart. His hands are open ready to offer forgiveness but how often are our hearts ready to accept His forgiveness?
I challenge you to receive the sacrament of reconciliation in the next week.
My Catholic Living ❤