Breaking the cycle

I have to start by apologizing. I have been complaining a lot in the last few posts. I guess it shows that I have been struggling a lot. Struggling is part of life but what we do with our struggles matters. These past few days I’ve just been gloomy and living for the sake of living. I wasn’t living my life to it’s full potential but rather living out my flesh life. We have to choose whether we want to live for ourselves or for God we can’t do both. This past week I was living for myself, falling into flesh desires and not trying to understand what God wanted from me. This is a cycle and it’s not easy to get out of.

Last night I summed up the courage to ask for confession. This was one ofserenity the best confession I have had in years. I feel like I can completely let go of a certain burden that I was carrying. I want to stop this fight I was having against myself and let God take care of it. I feel renewed and ready to face to world!

As I’m trying to reverse this cycle so if you have extra prayers send them this way. I’m trying to put in the extra effort to be happier and lead a healthier life.

Happiness is a choice but joy comes from God. We have to choose to be happy and when we choose to be happy it’s easier to see the joy that God is giving us daily. I have been going over and over my 12 steps book and it has been bringing me more healing than I ever expected. I strong encourage all those who want to know the deeper meaning of struggles to take this program. This program allows people to get a deeper knowledge of self and how we can become a better version of ourselves.

This is a Youtube clip that I found the other day and I found it very fitting with what I was going through. It’s a song with personal testimonies. Colton Dixon –Through All Of It

Am I choosing to be happy? Today I challenge you, try smiling more. Smiling is like instant happiness for me. I’m smiling right now for all of you and I wish you could all see it. 🙂

Struggling alone isn’t easy

We live in a world where we try to find quick fixes to everything, well that doesn’t work with everything. Sure it might seem like it works in the beginning but after a while a quick fix can cause more damage than how it was before it even broke. I say that because sometimes we think we do something that will fix all our problems but really we are just making it worse.

I will be honest, I struggle with an addiction and I have struggled with this addiction since I was 11. At the time I knew it wasn’t right but I kept doing this thing. And it took me years to realize how far gone I was because of this habbit. When I finally realized all the damaged it had done to me I tried stopping cold turkey. It would work for maybe two days and then I would break down and indulge even more than I would before. It was a vicious cycle.

Thankfully I joined a twelve steps group. This group made me look deeper into myself and discover the root of my problem. Also admitting that I am completely powerless and I can’t control my life was a big life changer for me. After reaching step twelve I felt so much better about myself even if I was still struggling with this addiction. I was struggling but I did have a bit more control over the temptation.  I had to put more effort into it. I stopped attending meetings because I thought that when I was done step twelve I would of been healed. Boy o boy I was wrong.if-god-didnt-forgive-sinners-heaven-would-be-empty-bible-quote

I had to humble myself and approach someone else for help and I did. This time I didn’t just admit to a priest about my faults but I told some of my closest friends. They did not react like I thought they would. Instead they were open about their own personal struggles in their lives. This brought all of us closer. It’s when we share our deepest struggles with others that we really get to know them.

Like I have said before, we all have our personal addictions. Some people have worse ones but either way admitting our addictions isn’t easy. I suggest that if you are reading this and struggle with a really unhealthy addiction please take the first step and tell someone. Stuggling alone isn’t easy, let someone help you carry your cross. It won’t be easy at first but it will be much more rewarding in the end.

I still struggle with this addiction but now I have a support group, people I can call when I’m in temptation or just need to talk to. And I will struggle with this addiction for the rest of my life. I am in recovery and will also be in recovery for the rest of my life as well.

Don’t be afraid to face your fears, recovery is a long road that seems impossible but it’s NOT impossible. We are all strong and we can all overcome temptations. Just believe in yourself.

-My Catholic Living