Light of the World

I’ve been having very weird dreams.

Last week I was very tired and decided to sleep earlier than usual. I was laying in bed dozing on and off and finally I was in a deep sleep. This is when I started dreaming about working on a murder case. I had a lead on the main suspect and I didn’t want to tell the others. I decided that I would go find this guy after a good night sleep.

I went to bed and all of a sudden I woke up (and I actually woke up), there was a weird light on the wall, a light that wasn’t usually there. I kept staring at it because if I stared it would disappear right? Then I heard a noise in my living room. He was here, the murderer was here. I couldn’t move because if I moved he would know where I was. I kept looking at that light on the wall as if it had the key to salvation but nothing was happening.

luke201-79Have you ever woken up from a dream that just felt so real and it’s like you were still part of the dream even though you knew you were awake? I really thought that the light was going to save me from this murderer but how is that even possible? The fact that I couldn’t move made it even worse, it felt as if there was a heavy weight making it impossible for me to get help. I had a hard time breathing like someone was trying to suffocate me.

Experiencing this wasn’t fun but it made me think more about light. The other day I was chatting with a friend and he brought up the fact that God is referred to as Light. This person showed me many referenced about God being light.  Continue reading “Light of the World”

Legend of Two Wolves

635791290986069537842837984_dc9c215b936f628ca907e375254e32ed-imgopt1000x70One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, ‘My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.’

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: ‘Which wolf wins?’ Continue reading “Legend of Two Wolves”

Yes I can.. no I can’t..yes..no

Depression, now this is a hard one to talk about but I was inspired by Jean, a friend of mine. This is what she said I can’t walk forward facing backwards! 14079783_1082420308474192_7302427914441682464_n

Big shout out to Jean as she’s been helping me with this. Without me telling her about what I was going through she knew I needed a shoulder to cry on. You know what she did? She sent me an email with pictures of Mary with quotes and verses. This was an instant pick me up as I knew I wasn’t alone even though I felt as though I was alone.

I have gone through depression and I know how much it can hurt. It’s more than just a mental issue but it’s also physical, emotional and spiritual.  Continue reading “Yes I can.. no I can’t..yes..no”

No Human is Perfect: Part I

I have been asked many time ‘why are you catholic?’ and everytime I come up with a different answer. There are may reasons why I am catholic but the really basic reason why I am catholic is because I want to join God in Heaven. My ultimate goal in life is to become a saint. But I didn’t always think that way.

I grew up in a catholic family but faith didn’t mean anything to me. I went to mass because I was forced to go. I served mass because I liked being the center of attention. I received my first communion when I was in grade 2 and received the sacrament of confirmation when I was in grade 6. I did all these because it was tradition in my family and with school.

I was lucky in high school because I attended a public school but it was very catholic. When I was in grade 12 we would still have morning prayer. So I did get some spiritual nourishment even if I didn’t like it or even wanted. From the outside I looked like this good catholic girl but in the inside I was really struggling because faith made no sense to me.

After high school I moved away to go to university and this is where my life drastically changed. I never stopped going to mass but I still went for the wrong reasons. I went to mass just to please my friends and family.

I guess I should mention that when I was in university I started hanging out with the wrong crowd, I started drinking and going to parties… I even ended up bald…it’s a long story… But I do have to say that I liked being bald.

Not long after I was sitting in a boring class (I hope my prof isn’t reading this :/) and mid class I just had this feeling that I had to go to the Cathedral so I did. The Cathedral is right beside the University so it was just a hop and a skip away.

When I opened the doors to the Cathedral I had this weird feeling which I can’t explain but I just felt like I was supposed to be there. Daily mass was about to start so I did as my parents had taught me. I knelt down and started to pray like I was taught. That was my first honest prayer.

That night I was really confused, I really liked how I felt during mass but I didn’t understand why.

Later that week I went to a house warming party and met a lot of new people. There was something different about these people. They had real joy, something that I had not had since I was really young. I wanted what they had. That night this guy invited my brother and I to a prayer group. I was reluctant to go because I wouldn’t know anyone there. But he went so I followed.

It’s awesome how one single invitation goes a long way. We didn’t know the guy that invited us but we went to the prayer group and it has changed both my brother’s and my life. The guy inviting us probably didn’t know that we were looking for spiritual nourishment and probably invited us just to be nice and make conversation.

I don’t want to make this entry too long so I will keep writing about my conversion in another post…sometime soon… if I feel like it and if you want to know the rest.

On a side note, I went to mass this morning and I really can’t stop smiling. I was in a state where I could receive the Eucharist. Oh the joys that come with mass 🙂 🙂 🙂