I wrote this poem earlier this year and I figured it was time that I shared it with the wider community. I’m also looking for feedback on how I could make it better.
CHILD NUMBER 8
Being child number 7 the expectations are greater
number 8, how are you handling all that pressure?
I just wanted you to look up to you big sister.
But things are not like they seem.
I once took that drink just to fit in
but that was a monster I let in.
Tossing and turning I swear I’d stop
until it became a cycle of loss.
Trust me, number 8, things are not like they seem.
I hid behind that smiling face
convincing myself everything’s ok
one more song, one more dance, one more drink I’d say
the sun is up, oh shucks it’s day.
Number 8, you’re growing, discovering yourself, still in school
don’t worry about being that unique fish in the pool.
Once in a pool you have no where to go
swimming round n’ round going with the flow.
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Here goes the last push of the my time in the Archdiocese. I do have to say that it will be really hard for me to leave because of all the contacts and good friends I’ve made. My eyes water just to the thought of leaving (who put these onions here?)
Just as I was going to write about the upcoming weeks a song came up and the lyrics made so much sense. Now, I know that many of you know this song by Kenny Rogers, The Gambler, but I’m going to dig a bit in some of the lyrics. I know what I’m about to say isn’t exactly fitting with the rest of the song but eh, it’s what caught my attention.
You got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away, know when to run.
This reminds me of God’s will and how sometimes (often) we try to do our own will.
Ego, in my opinion stands for Edging God Out as when we think about ourselves we completely forget about God. This line reminds me of the spirit of discernment. We have to know when to pursue something, when to put it on
the back burner and when to stop. If it’s meant to be God will bring it up again. Know when to run. Run when you know it’s not God’s will as it will only cause disaster.
Every gambler knows that the secret to survivin’ is knowin’ what to throw away and knowin’ what to keep. ‘Cause every hand’s a winner and every hand’s a loser.
Knowing what to throw away and knowing what to keep. If you have a friends that always complains and keeps talking about themselves and you can never share what is on your mind. Is that a throw away or a keep? Read the rest of this entry
Spiritual pride, many suffer from it AND they don’t even realize how their spiritual pride is affecting others. By the way, pride is a deadly sin…
When one says things like Salvation won’t come to you because you do this and that… then this person is putting themselves on a pedestal, they are making themselves better than the other person. Remember, when you’re pointing the finger at someone three other fingers are point your direction.
You cannot be half a saint; you must be a whole saint or no saint at all. St. Therese of Lisieux
Actually, someone once said this to me I will keep on bullying as long as I can convert others. In my opinion there is much pride in that statement. Bullying is never right and everyone in their right mind should agree with that. Bullying means taking advantage of someone. Is taking advantage of someone ever a good thing? NO! Never! A bully tries to show others that they are the boss and that they are better than everyone else, they belittle others.
There’s a lot of I in that statement. It’s all about me!
…until I can convert other. Who converts who? Doesn’t conversion come from God? Isn’t conversion a choice that has to come from within? We can help bring conversion but we can’t convert someone. Sounds like this person was trying to take credit for God’s work. Read the rest of this entry
I can’t bare the thought of being in a safe home not needing to worry about my family while everyone in Haiti is preparing to take cover. My heart is completely torn apart.
I really didn’t think I left my heart in Haiti until I went to WYD. Haitians are very patriotic so whenever I spotted one walking around I went out of my way to speak with them in their own language. The more I spoke with them the more I fell in love with the country again. I lost a lot of my Haitian Créole but I could still hold a basic conversation with them.
It was always great to see their reaction!
Eh! Kijan nou ye?
Nou byen…. ou pale Kreyol?????
Hey! How are you?
We’re fine…. you speak Créole?????
Their reaction was like why is this white woman speaking our language? It just doesn’t make sense! We’ve been caught as we can’t talk in the secret of our language. Read the rest of this entry
Ok!!!!! I have some super great news for you! It is official! I’m going to Australia in January!!!!!!
As many of you know I’ve been discerning religious life for a while and have many fears about taking the next step. To help me with this I decided (with the help of God) to join something called NET (National Evangelization Team).
This peer to peer, value-driven ministry is very effective because it offers a radical alternative to what is offered by society at present. NET teams bring their own positive stories, struggles, their willingness to listen and relate on a youthful level, this is indispensable.
As a member of NET I will deepen my faith, strengthen my relationship with God all by sharing the Gospel with others. What better way to discern religious life than with other young adults? Read the rest of this entry
Ok, I have something to admit, something that I tried hiding for years and year but it’s time I finally come clean with it. I have… I can’t say it…. I am…. hmmm… I’m a freak. I have something called Brachydactyly Type D (BDD).
What the heck is that? I like to think of it as strange dinosaur disease, yes, I’m actually a dinosaur. Hehe, now I’m sure you’re confused…. unless you know what BDD is then I will give you a high5! *High5*
Basically BDD means that the distal phalanx of the thumb alone is shortened, in other words the nail bed of my thumbs is wider than it’s long, weird eh?
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After a great weekend full of excitement I am now back waiting at the bus station for a new adventure. I always love spending time with family but when it comes time to leave it’s always bitter sweet. I love my work up north but I also love my family, if only I could have both.
A picture I took about a month ago. Fall is here!
I only have a few months left in the north… yep you read that right. It is finally official that I will be leaving my work in the north. Another bitter sweet decision but definitely another decision I took with the help of God. I love my time in the north, I love the people, the different culture, nature and even the animals. On a side note when I came down to the city the other day I saw a moose! Read the rest of this entry
Last night I was all cozy in bed and all of sudden I imagined two big black bugs in my bed!!! YUCK! You want to know how I dealt with them? You won’t believe me as what I did wasn’t very intelligent but eh it’s what I did.
I wanted to keep sleeping without having to actually find the bugs so I decided to get my sleeping bag and sleep in it. I made sure the pull string was at its tightest so that the bugs couldn’t get in. Yes I know, I’m a genius.
This morning when I woke up I was just like whaaaaaa? Why am I in a sleeping bag? And then it slowly came back to me. It was really weird.
I wanted to start with this story because sometimes we do something and don’t know why. I always like thinking there’s a purpose behind everything we say or do but after experiencing something like that it got me thinking. Read the rest of this entry
One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, ‘My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.’
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: ‘Which wolf wins?’ Read the rest of this entry
The other day I heard a comment that was very upsetting. The comment was something like bigger women should never wear a bikini because it’s not flattering on them. Now before I keep going on I have to state that I’m actually against women wearing bikinis as I believe they reveal too much but that’s a story for another day
When we’re hurting ourselves we’re hurting God as well.
Saying that a bigger woman can’t do something because it’s not flattering is a complete insult. Read the rest of this entry