Yes I can.. no I can’t..yes..no

Depression, now this is a hard one to talk about but I was inspired by Jean, a friend of mine. This is what she said I can’t walk forward facing backwards! 14079783_1082420308474192_7302427914441682464_n

Big shout out to Jean as she’s been helping me with this. Without me telling her about what I was going through she knew I needed a shoulder to cry on. You know what she did? She sent me an email with pictures of Mary with quotes and verses. This was an instant pick me up as I knew I wasn’t alone even though I felt as though I was alone.

I have gone through depression and I know how much it can hurt. It’s more than just a mental issue but it’s also physical, emotional and spiritual.  Continue reading “Yes I can.. no I can’t..yes..no”

Brushing my soul

Here’s a song to listen while reading:

What do our souls and brushing teeth have in common? I was asking myself that same questions but I had this random thought that came to me during mass today.

Going to mass in a state of mortal sin is like eating a delicious vanilla cake without having brushed your teeth for five days. This cake is still good but it could be better. Just like going to mass in this state isn’t wrong but it could be better.

Going to confession is the best way to clean the soul just like brushing our teeth is the best way to clean our mouth. And when we clean our soul we can better live out the mass. Same with brushing your teeth, when you do so the cake will taste much better.  Continue reading “Brushing my soul”

Mystery of the Visitation

On the feast of the visitation I went to mass and our Archbishop preached the homily. He talked about the age e61d7a7cb1eebda61588525cc0a13998-2of Mary (between 8-16) and the age of Elizabeth (50’s or older). I always thought that this mystery of the visitation was so intimate. Me,being a woman, absolutely love children. Anyone whom I’ve encountered knows that.
Conception is so incredible! I mean with a simple act one can conceive a baby. Then this baby is in the mothers womb for a few months then BOOM Continue reading “Mystery of the Visitation”

Are you actually catholic?

I had never heard of a lay service until I moved up north. Now sometimes I don’t have the opportunity to go to mass so I go to a lay service. Oh wait a second you might be thinking What the heck is she talking about? Isn’t Sunday mass an obligation? Well long story short it’s not always possible to have a priest in for mass.

Like I said before I am in northern Canada and I don’t know if you ever looked on a Canadian map before but you would notice that in this area all the communities are miles and miles apart. In this archdiocese we have 47 communities but only 14 priests in a very big area of 430,000 square km. Continue reading “Are you actually catholic?”

The routine of prayer at mass…

So, I often talk about travelling and I figured I would give you a small idea on how big this archdiocese actually is. This year we have hit rock bottom and are using every single penny… mapofdiocese-smlwait a minute… pennies don’t exist anymore…. we are using every single nickel to survive and to serve our different communities. Even though we are going through this, we are receiving many graces. Graces that we wouldn’t receive if we weren’t so deep in the hole money wise. We are finding much joy with the little we have. We are finding new ways to work with the communities.

There are 46 communities and only 14 priests (and apparently two more on the way). That being said we are having more and more lay services. At first I wasn’t too keen on attending lay services but the more I went to them the more I saw the beauty in them. A lay service isn’t a mass but it’s gathering as a community to pray.

How often do we go to mass and not pray? It’s too easy to get into the motions and say the prayers that we just learned by heart. I’m guilty of that and I would think that many of are as well. But having a lay service breaks that routine because I’ll admit, it’s very different. But different in a good way because it really encourages the parishioners to get involved. Lay services can’t happen if people don’t volunteer their time.  This is important because it gets people involved and the more people who are involved the better is goes.

I would imagine that most people reading this have never been to a lay service and that’s ok but just don’t makes the same mistake as I did. Please don’t condemn them, this is a necessity in some communities.

We live in a world of first impressions. Don’t let that get in the way of living a holy life. When is the last time  you condemned something without getting to know about it?

-My Catholic Living

No Human is Perfect: Part I

I have been asked many time ‘why are you catholic?’ and everytime I come up with a different answer. There are may reasons why I am catholic but the really basic reason why I am catholic is because I want to join God in Heaven. My ultimate goal in life is to become a saint. But I didn’t always think that way.

I grew up in a catholic family but faith didn’t mean anything to me. I went to mass because I was forced to go. I served mass because I liked being the center of attention. I received my first communion when I was in grade 2 and received the sacrament of confirmation when I was in grade 6. I did all these because it was tradition in my family and with school.

I was lucky in high school because I attended a public school but it was very catholic. When I was in grade 12 we would still have morning prayer. So I did get some spiritual nourishment even if I didn’t like it or even wanted. From the outside I looked like this good catholic girl but in the inside I was really struggling because faith made no sense to me.

After high school I moved away to go to university and this is where my life drastically changed. I never stopped going to mass but I still went for the wrong reasons. I went to mass just to please my friends and family.

I guess I should mention that when I was in university I started hanging out with the wrong crowd, I started drinking and going to parties… I even ended up bald…it’s a long story… But I do have to say that I liked being bald.

Not long after I was sitting in a boring class (I hope my prof isn’t reading this :/) and mid class I just had this feeling that I had to go to the Cathedral so I did. The Cathedral is right beside the University so it was just a hop and a skip away.

When I opened the doors to the Cathedral I had this weird feeling which I can’t explain but I just felt like I was supposed to be there. Daily mass was about to start so I did as my parents had taught me. I knelt down and started to pray like I was taught. That was my first honest prayer.

That night I was really confused, I really liked how I felt during mass but I didn’t understand why.

Later that week I went to a house warming party and met a lot of new people. There was something different about these people. They had real joy, something that I had not had since I was really young. I wanted what they had. That night this guy invited my brother and I to a prayer group. I was reluctant to go because I wouldn’t know anyone there. But he went so I followed.

It’s awesome how one single invitation goes a long way. We didn’t know the guy that invited us but we went to the prayer group and it has changed both my brother’s and my life. The guy inviting us probably didn’t know that we were looking for spiritual nourishment and probably invited us just to be nice and make conversation.

I don’t want to make this entry too long so I will keep writing about my conversion in another post…sometime soon… if I feel like it and if you want to know the rest.

On a side note, I went to mass this morning and I really can’t stop smiling. I was in a state where I could receive the Eucharist. Oh the joys that come with mass 🙂 🙂 🙂

We are all sinners and will always be sinners

I have this deep love for mass because I get to receive the Eucharist. This is the best gift anyone can receive daily because it nourishes us in multiple ways. But sadly these past few days I was in a state of mortal sin. This is something that really just drags me down and beats me to the ground. I couldn’t receive the Eucharist on Sunday mass because I was too prideful to even go see a priest and confess my failures. Often my pride gets in the way of things and prevents me in being who I really want to be. Today I went to daily mass and again I was still in a state of mortal sin so I couldn’t receive Communion.

But right after mass I asked my priest if I could have confession and with a big smile he said yes. I always have a fear of asking for confession but know that I will feel much better afterward. So even though I couldn’t receive the Eucharist today I am one step closer to receiving my spiritual nourishment.

I strongly encourage everyone to go to confession because let’s admit it, our soul needs some cleaning. We humans can’t clean it on our own, we need God’s help and forgiveness. The more I participate in this sacrament the more I feel comfortable in my own skin. Admiting my faults isn’t easy but it has to be done. It’s by admitting my faults that I discover who I really am. But let’s not get carried away here, my faults don’t define who I am they just prevent me from being who I am. We often hide behind our sin and blame it one someone or something else.  It’s easy to blame others for our faults but is it worth it?

I am guilty just like everyone else of committing that same sin over and over and confessing it over and over. We all have our different addictions that we have to deal with. But, we can’t deal with it alone. Sharing our addictions with someone else gives courage that there is much more than the addiction, gives the understanding that we are not alone and it gives accountability, someone we can talk to in times of temptation.

We are all broken and we all need help but God is there to provide that help. We just have to accept it.

I am praying for your brokeness, please pray for mine.

My Catholic Living

Blessing in disguise, maybe?

We are living in hard times. Over 30 religious communities have been attacked and robbed in Haiti in the last 3 months. They even burned down a mission house earlier this week. Haitians don’t realize how much the religious communities have helped Haiti move up in the world. Most schools are run by religious religious people, brothers, sisters, priests and deacons. And they do it for free, they don’t want to get paid.

We now have to take extra extra precautions whenever we go out. The attacks are always at night and we know that all the attackers are men.

Yesterday all the religious orders met up and walked to the Cathedral to let the world know what’s been going on. After the walk we had mass all together, lay people and religious. I have to say that it was one of the most beautiful mass I ever attended. The Cathedral was packed full of people. In pews that we regular sit 5 or 6 people we were 10. And there were many people who stood up for the whole mass because they had no place to sit. It was an awesome atmosphere. I loved seeing so many people there praying all at once. And during consecration it was quiet, I could of heard a pin drop from the other side of the cathedral. All in all, it was an event which reminded me that there is good in every situation whether or not we see it.

Please if you have a minute or two pray for these men, that they have a change of heart. And that God may penetrate their hearts to show them that they are loved.

-my catholic living

Mass, in a different language

I really love mass! I try to go everyday and I find that if I can’t make it to mass (or if I sleep in) my day is not the same. I really like starting my day with mass because it’s such a pick me up especially when life is really busy. I’m a currently a missionary which means that I travel a lot.

I speak both french and english. I know that it bothers some people that I can switch from one language to another in a snap of the fingers. I never understood how that could frustrate people, to me it’s such a beautiful thing. I love hearing people speak in different languages. But lately I’ve been getting a glimps of how they feel.

Last week I moved to a different community, this community only speaks a french dialect. So I can understand a few words here and there but sometimes I don’t understand at all what they are saying. I’ve been learning this language but it’s still a hard thing to do when I’m so busy. Mass is always in this dialect which is a bit frustrating because I lose focus when the priest is preaching his homily. But I also know that I’m getting special graces from attending mass in this language. I focus more on the readings and try to understand them better. It’s also a good reminder that I shouldn’t just learn the prayers by heart but actually mean the prayers when I say them.

I’m sorry if I ever disrespected anyone by switching language I didn’t mean to disrespect you it’s just my way of expressing myself.  We have to meet in the middle. It’s just hard because it’s like I have my french speaking group of friends and my english speaking group of friends and they can by no means mix. I would love for them to all hang out together but when we start speaking french the anglophone will feel left out. It’s not that we don’t want you to understand it’s just that’s our way of expressing ourselves. It’s the language we feel most comfortable in.

Oh :/ I wasn’t expecting to rant but I guess I did a bit. Have a great Sunday and to all women out there have a great day! Today is international women’s day! Be the true woman you were called to be.

-mycatholicliving