I wrote this poem earlier this year and I figured it was time that I shared it with the wider community. I’m also looking for feedback on how I could make it better.
CHILD NUMBER 8
Being child number 7 the expectations are greater
number 8, how are you handling all that pressure?
I just wanted you to look up to you big sister.
But things are not like they seem.
I once took that drink just to fit in
but that was a monster I let in.
Tossing and turning I swear I’d stop
until it became a cycle of loss.
Trust me, number 8, things are not like they seem.
I hid behind that smiling face
convincing myself everything’s ok
one more song, one more dance, one more drink I’d say
the sun is up, oh shucks it’s day.
Number 8, you’re growing, discovering yourself, still in school
don’t worry about being that unique fish in the pool.
Once in a pool you have no where to go
swimming round n’ round going with the flow.
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I wanted to share with you a bit of my research about the crucifixion. To me this is something that I always overlooked and just said kept on saying that it was the ultimate sacrifice. Yes, it is the ultimate sacrifice but have you ever stopped to think of Jesus as a person? Put yourself in His shoes and try being flogged by soldiers.
I wanted to walk this journey with Jesus and He’s really been giving me a glimpse of what He went through as I was throwing insults and mocking him.
The whips that the soldiers were using had multiple ends and on the ropes were tiny metal balls and tiny hooks. This means that every time he was hit he would either get instant blood blisters or his flesh was torn open. In Jewish law it was illegal to hit someone 40 times (40 was a number of death) and for some reason the Romans followed this law and only hit him 39 times. ONLY 39! This video shows what it might have looked like. Read the rest of this entry
I’m really dropping the ball on this blogging thing. It’s not that I’ve forgotten to write it’s that I just
haven’t been making the time the time for it I’ve been making excuses to not write. On a side note, I’ve actually been journaling a lot, I even wrote a few poems, I just haven’t been posting things.
I know, I know, I’m making more excuses but eh, nothing I can do about it now. Actually… YES…. there’s much that I can do and I’m asking your help to keep me accountable to blogging. If you notice that I haven’t been blogging do send me a friendly reminder saying yo bruh you’re failing at blogging. I promise that I won’t slam the door on your nose next time you visit.
To keep you update on my Australian NET journey I do have to say that things have been pretty rocky these past few weeks but really great at the same time. As I was told by someone I greatly admire there are three stages to living in community.
- The honeymoon stage where everything is unicorns, lollypops and butterflies.
- The you’re an idiot stage where everything is someone else’s fault and I’m the perfect person
- The wait a second… I’m and idiot too stage where you realize that you’re not as perfect as you thought.
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Ok so, as many of you know, I come from a farming family. It’s pretty cool because we actually get fresh milk from the farm instead of that expensive store bought stuff. MMM real milk.
When we want milk, we don’t actually go milk a cow but rather go to the holding tank that keeps the milk cool and fresh. MMM real milk.
Last night my mother asked my sister and I to get milk. I was so tired that I fell asleep on the couch basically right after supper (and maybe I was also avoiding going outside in the cold). Either way when I woke up the next day I knew we still had to get the milk.
It was in the late morning when we finally summed up the courage to open the front door and face that deep snow to fill those two jugs of milk. The blowing snow made it hard to even find the car but eventually as we dusted it off and cleared the window we thought we would able to make it. I backed out and thought eh I can do this. Then I saw more snow and told my sister we’re not going to make it. And she quickly replied Don’t doubt yourself, you’re going to make it! Read the rest of this entry
That was a beautiful honest confession. Those were the most beautiful words I heard yesterday.
I have both a confession and a story of grace for you. The confession is that I recently made the decision that I would restart drinking but only socially. This decisions wasn’t easy to make and I had actually consulted a few people about it as I really had not drank for about 3 years. Sounds legit right? Well long story short in just a few days I had completely over done it.
BUT I learned a lot from this, not only from the mistakes but from something else. From December 30th to January 1st I volunteered from something called Operation Red Nose.
The mission of Operation Red Nose is to encourage responsible behaviour (in a non-judgmental manner) with regard to impaired driving by enabling communities to provide a free and confidential chauffeur service to their members, the financial benefits of which are redistributed to local organizations dedicated to youth.
So basically I got to drive people and their vehicle to a home location. You can read more about the service here.
On the first day I was the escort driver meaning that I got in the person’s vehicle accompanied by a navigator and our clients and we were followed by our other main vehicle. On the second day I was the navigator which also meant that I was the one doing the paper work. The second time, new years eve and new years morning, was a bit more of a challenge as we had call after call. Our team started around 11pm and got back to headquarters at 3:45 am and had around six calls. We had 12 teams on the road and if every team had between five and nine calls that meant that around 84 people were home safe and didn’t have to worry about finding their vehicle the next day.
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Here goes the last push of the my time in the Archdiocese. I do have to say that it will be really hard for me to leave because of all the contacts and good friends I’ve made. My eyes water just to the thought of leaving (who put these onions here?)
Just as I was going to write about the upcoming weeks a song came up and the lyrics made so much sense. Now, I know that many of you know this song by Kenny Rogers, The Gambler, but I’m going to dig a bit in some of the lyrics. I know what I’m about to say isn’t exactly fitting with the rest of the song but eh, it’s what caught my attention.
You got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away, know when to run.
This reminds me of God’s will and how sometimes (often) we try to do our own will.
Ego, in my opinion stands for Edging God Out as when we think about ourselves we completely forget about God. This line reminds me of the spirit of discernment. We have to know when to pursue something, when to put it on
the back burner and when to stop. If it’s meant to be God will bring it up again. Know when to run. Run when you know it’s not God’s will as it will only cause disaster.
Every gambler knows that the secret to survivin’ is knowin’ what to throw away and knowin’ what to keep. ‘Cause every hand’s a winner and every hand’s a loser.
Knowing what to throw away and knowing what to keep. If you have a friends that always complains and keeps talking about themselves and you can never share what is on your mind. Is that a throw away or a keep? Read the rest of this entry
I just wanted a catchy title…..
Hello dear family and friends:
Community life is so wonderful! Since 2013 I have had the opportunity to experience community life with the Catholic Outreach Team and the Sisters of Holy Cross. Over the past 18 months I have been working as Coordinator of Youth Ministry for the Archdiocese of Keewatin-Le Pas.
I am overjoyed at the countless interesting experiences I have encountered and have decided that it’s time for me to take the next step. Over the past couple years I have felt a call to religious life, an option I am seriously considering. Let me share with you how two young boys in Haiti pushed me towards the pursuit of this vocation.
One school day, I was sitting in front of the convent, writing in my journal. I remember it being a bright sunny day. There
were two boys playing foutbòl (Soccer in Haitian Creole).
Exhausted, they came and sat beside me and we started chatting. I asked them why they weren’t in school. They quickly replied by sharing part of their life story. Their father had been in a motorcycle accident which left him with mental problems and he soon abandoned his wife and kids. Their mother wasn’t able to take care of her boys so she gave them away to her sister, their aunt. This woman had kids of her own and when they had food in the house (which wasn’t often) it would go to her own kids first. If there were leftovers, only then would these two boys get to eat. These kids were bl
essed with a coconut tree and if they were really hungry they would climb the tree to drink the coconut water and eat the coconut.
This situation really opened my eyes in realizing how many things I have but don’t really need. How can I live such a materialistic life when these kids don’t even know when they will have a full meal again?
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I’m always on the road. This weekend I went to my parents place because on Sunday we had a baptism. It is finally official, I’m a godmother!!!!!!
This is not a responsibility I’m taking lightly. Every child is a miracle from God but this child was definitely an eye opener child of God. The couple had complications with the pregnancy but man o man has these complications ever brought the couple closer to Christ but also to each other. You can read more about the journey here, My Promise
The verse My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness is what kept me going. The weakness of the complications reassured God’s presence in the lives of many, mine included.
When life gets tough we need something or someone to rely on and through my life journey I learned that we can’t just rely on people. People change, people hurt us and people leave. Read the rest of this entry
Ok!!!!! I have some super great news for you! It is official! I’m going to Australia in January!!!!!!
As many of you know I’ve been discerning religious life for a while and have many fears about taking the next step. To help me with this I decided (with the help of God) to join something called NET (National Evangelization Team).
This peer to peer, value-driven ministry is very effective because it offers a radical alternative to what is offered by society at present. NET teams bring their own positive stories, struggles, their willingness to listen and relate on a youthful level, this is indispensable.
As a member of NET I will deepen my faith, strengthen my relationship with God all by sharing the Gospel with others. What better way to discern religious life than with other young adults? Read the rest of this entry
I wasn’t planning on blogging today but then I had a crazy thought…. Why not?
Have you ever started something and thought this is never going to work, I’m a failure. And then you realize wait it’s actually working, I’m not actually as much of a failure that I thought I was!
I say this because I have never been a runner, I like running but running was never my thing. Two Fridays ago I was sitting in my room, probably watching a funny cat video or something like that and I had this crazy thought why don’t I go for a run? I told you it was a crazy thought!!! I look like a dying chipmunk when I run, not a pretty site. But eh the thought came to mind and I couldn’t shut it down because it was actually a good idea.
How I feel when I run.
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