Spiritual pride

Spiritual pride, many suffer from it AND they don’t even realize how their spiritual pride is affecting others. By the way, pride is a deadly sin…

img_0143When one says things like Salvation won’t come to you because you do this and that… then this person is putting themselves on a pedestal, they are making themselves better than the other person. Remember, when you’re pointing the finger at someone three other fingers are point your direction.

You cannot be half a saint; you must be a whole saint or no saint at all. St. Therese of Lisieux

Actually, someone once said this to me I will keep on bullying as long as I can convert others. In my opinion there is much pride in that statement. Bullying is never right and everyone in their right mind should agree with that. Bullying means taking advantage of someone. Is taking advantage of someone ever a good thing? NO! Never! A bully tries to show others that they are the boss and that they are better than everyone else, they belittle others.

There’s a lot of in that statement. It’s all about me!

…until I can convert other. Who converts who? Doesn’t conversion come from God? Isn’t conversion a choice that has to come from within? We can help bring conversion but we can’t convert someone. Sounds like this person was trying to take credit for God’s work. Continue reading “Spiritual pride”

No rest for Haitians

I can’t bare the thought of being in a safe home not needing to worry about my family while everyone in Haiti is preparing to take cover. My heart is completely torn apart.

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I really didn’t think I left my heart in Haiti until I went to WYD. Haitians are very patriotic so whenever I spotted one walking around I went out of my way to speak with them in their own language. The more I spoke with them the more I fell in love with the country again. I lost a lot of my Haitian Créole but I could still hold a basic conversation with them.

It was always great to see their reaction!

Eh! Kijan nou ye?
Nou byen….  ou pale Kreyol?????

Hey! How are you?
We’re fine…. you speak Créole?????

Their reaction was like why is this white woman speaking our language? It just doesn’t make sense! We’ve been caught as we can’t talk in the secret of our language. Continue reading “No rest for Haitians”

Living in shame

I’ve been having such a bad week. I’m frustrated with my myself, with my life, with others and so on. It’s like nothing I did this week was right. I’m sure I’m not the only one to have week like this. It’s like I have so much shame that I can’t get rid of. It’s catching up to me.

It started out as a good week. I had a good conversation with my mother and I sent out a letter to a friend. But after that it’s like I just couldn’t smile, I couldn’t resist temptation, I couldn’t help out others. It’s like I was (and still am) stuck in limbo. I don’t care about the good and I don’t care  about the bad.

I personally know this isn’t good and I know why I feel this way but it’s still dragging me down. It makes me feel like I’m not leading a good life. I often ask myself this question: What is my purpose in life? This always makes me reflect, am I doing what God wants me to be doing in this very moment? Am I the person God me to be? Am I doing God’s will?

I have been struggling a lot with God’s will, especially with my vocation. I thought I wasn’t called to religious life and now I feel this calling again. Discerning this freaks me out. What if I’m actually called to religious life? What about my desire to have kids? All these things I have been thinking about.

Ugh so many different thoughts coming to mind. I honestly feel like God is giving me the choice. I feel like I could be a great mother but I also feel like I could be a great sister. Oh the choices… I don’t like it when people tell me, just wait you’re still young. To me this isn’t living in the moment. If God wants me to do something then I would want to respond as soon I can. Something I struggle a lot with is patience. And I also fear asking God for patience because when I do that He always puts me in situations where I need to practice patience.  We sometimes have a silly God.

All that to say, I am still praying for a better understanding of God’s will for me. I’m am so confused and lost with it. But I will take time to pray more about it. Could you please pray for me? I am in a desperate need of prayers.

Also, tomorrow I will be heading to confession! Hurray! This will bring me joy and I know it. I hope this will help with this shame that I’m carrying. I just need to let it go because I have dealt with it in the past I have made amends, I just need to let it go. But it’s easier said than done.

-My Catholic Living