Help me.

Tonight I feel like a complete failure. We have so many youth in the archdiocese and I wish I could meet all of them and talk about Jesus but I can’t. Why was I gloomy last week? It’s because I got a message from someone telling me that there were three suicides in one of our communities. I did not deal with those news too well. These are not the news you want to hear or even expect to hear.

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I might not of known these girls very well but I still know that they were important to many but also to me. All the youth in the Archdiocese of Keewatin-Le Pas have a special place in my heart. They are the reason why I’m here in the north, they have shaped me to be a better woman and taught me to serve our God in an even better way. But it’s when things like this happen, I feel like I am to blame even though I know it’s not my fault.
I was watching a movie with one of my housemates while surfing through Facebook and I saw something new, another suicide. I was devastated, went to my room and shed more tears. We lost four girls in less than a week, why is this happening?  One of them was only 10 years old, a tragedy.  Continue reading “Help me.”

Run! Run! Run!

I wasn’t planning on blogging today but then I had a crazy thought…. Why not?

Have you ever started something and thought this is never going to work, I’m a failure. And then you realize wait it’s actually working, I’m not actually as much of a failure that I thought I was! 

I say this because I have never been a runner, I like running but running was never my thing. Two Fridays ago I was sitting in my room, probably watching a funny cat video or something like that and I had this crazy thought why don’t I go for a run? I told you it was a crazy thought!!! I look like a dying chipmunk when I run, not a pretty site. But eh the thought came to mind and I couldn’t shut it down because it was actually a good idea.

 

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How I feel when I run.

Continue reading “Run! Run! Run!”

Confession of a wonky thumb

Ok, I have something to admit, something that I tried hiding for years and year but it’s time I finally come clean with it. I have… I can’t say it…. I am…. hmmm… I’m a freak. I have something called Brachydactyly Type D (BDD).

What the heck is that? I like to think of it as strange dinosaur disease, yes, I’m actually a dinosaur. Hehe, now I’m sure you’re confused…. unless you know what BDD is then I will give you a high5! *High5*

Basically BDD means that the distal phalanx of the thumb alone is shortened, in other words the nail bed of my thumbs is wider than it’s long, weird eh?

Continue reading “Confession of a wonky thumb”

Change is Good

The other day I heard a comment that was very upsetting. The comment was something like bigger women should never wear a bikini because it’s not flattering on them. Now before I keep going on I have to state that I’m actually against women wearing bikinis as I believe they reveal too much but that’s a story for another day

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When we’re hurting ourselves we’re hurting God as well.

 

Saying that a bigger woman can’t do something because it’s not flattering is a complete insult. Continue reading “Change is Good”

Yes I can.. no I can’t..yes..no

Depression, now this is a hard one to talk about but I was inspired by Jean, a friend of mine. This is what she said I can’t walk forward facing backwards! 14079783_1082420308474192_7302427914441682464_n

Big shout out to Jean as she’s been helping me with this. Without me telling her about what I was going through she knew I needed a shoulder to cry on. You know what she did? She sent me an email with pictures of Mary with quotes and verses. This was an instant pick me up as I knew I wasn’t alone even though I felt as though I was alone.

I have gone through depression and I know how much it can hurt. It’s more than just a mental issue but it’s also physical, emotional and spiritual.  Continue reading “Yes I can.. no I can’t..yes..no”

Psalm 51 Miserere

This has to be my favourite psalm. It’s the psalm I encourage everyone to pray and to pray it everyday. The very thing that I love about this psalm is that everyday something new catches my eye.

I suggest that you start by reading it slowly, then meditate and eventually pray with it. God speaks through Scripture.

This psalm reminds us that we are all sinners and that we are in need of His mercy. Imagine a world without mercy, can you do that? I tried imagining it and what I saw was terrible. Without God’s mercy we wouldn’t have confession. Many of us would be like walking skeletons, we’d be lost, confused with no way to get closer to God. We would most likely all be in a state of mortal sin meaning that we would be completely separated from God. There would be no hope.

Thank God this isn’t our reality! We have a merciful God, a God full of love and peace. A God who gave up His own life for us. He died on that cross for the sins we had not even yet committed.

Have mercy on me, God, in your kindness.jesushands
In your compassion blot out my offense.
O wash me more and more from my guilt
and cleanse me from my sin.

My offenses truly I know them;
my sin is always before me
Against you, you alone, have I sinned;
what is evil in your sight I have done.

That you may be justified when you give sentence
and be without reproach when you judge,
O see, in guilt I was born,
a sinner was I conceived.

Indeed you love truth in the heart;
then in the secret of my heart teach me wisdom.
O purify me, then I shall be clean;
O wash me, I shall be whiter than snow. Continue reading “Psalm 51 Miserere”

Tempted to change

A few days ago I was texting someone and they really put things in perspective. This person had asked me what my plans were for the week and I told them that I was wanting to go back to the pool as I had been lazy ever since I got back from Poland.
What this person replied back was a true challenge, …live like Pope Francis taught us, get off that couch!!!!get-off-that-couch-and-go-build-a-better-world-pope-tells-young-people

I needed to get off that ouch as Pope Francis said while addressing us at WYD in Poland. This led me to thinking about a lot of different things such as temptation. How that subject came to mind is a whole different story.

Continue reading “Tempted to change”

Dating… why?

 

Dating, so many questions and so many uncertainties.

Sometimes we enter into a relationship more so for the status than the other person but hopefully more often it’s because we see a future with this other person. Dating has such a new meaning in this day in age and we really lost the original meaning. Why do we date??

1230722_origIn my perspective dating is all about seeing if the other person is compatible for marriage, it’s about leading the other person closer to heaven. If you can’t lead the other person closer to heaven while dating then you won’t be able to do such thing during marriage. You see, many people think
Oh when we get married I’m going to change this about my spouse but we really can’t think that way because if someone wants change it has to come from within and not from someone else. What you see is what you get.  Continue reading “Dating… why?”

Last Saturday’s challenge

As many of you know, I struggle with alcohol and I’m quite open about it. One drink leads to two and two leads to three and three leads to I don’t remember.

I haven’t had a drink for a few months now and it feels great. The people I live with have a drink everyone once in a while and sometimes I think maybe just this once.  But I know I can’t fall into that.

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On Saturday I was asked by someone to go to the liquor store and buy a 12 pack of beer. It’s just buying beer right? It shouldn’t be that tough. On the drive there (which isn’t too far) I kept thinking Should I buy something for myself? How am I going to feel going in there? Why am I doing this? And as soon as I entered I saw everything, the wine, the beer and the liquor. It really brought me back to my old self but it made me think of who I am today.  Continue reading “Last Saturday’s challenge”