On a New Journey all the Time

After a great weekend full of excitement I am now back waiting at the bus station for a new adventure. I always love spending time with family but when it comes time to leave it’s always bitter sweet. I love my work up north but I also love my family, if only I could have both.

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A picture I took about a month ago. Fall is here!

I only have a few months left in the north… yep you read that right. It is finally official that I will be leaving my work in the north. Another bitter sweet decision but definitely another decision I took with the help of God. I love my time in the north, I love the people, the different culture, nature and even the animals. On a side note when I came down to the city the other day I saw a moose!  Continue reading “On a New Journey all the Time”

Change is Good

The other day I heard a comment that was very upsetting. The comment was something like bigger women should never wear a bikini because it’s not flattering on them. Now before I keep going on I have to state that I’m actually against women wearing bikinis as I believe they reveal too much but that’s a story for another day

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When we’re hurting ourselves we’re hurting God as well.

 

Saying that a bigger woman can’t do something because it’s not flattering is a complete insult. Continue reading “Change is Good”

Yes I can.. no I can’t..yes..no

Depression, now this is a hard one to talk about but I was inspired by Jean, a friend of mine. This is what she said I can’t walk forward facing backwards! 14079783_1082420308474192_7302427914441682464_n

Big shout out to Jean as she’s been helping me with this. Without me telling her about what I was going through she knew I needed a shoulder to cry on. You know what she did? She sent me an email with pictures of Mary with quotes and verses. This was an instant pick me up as I knew I wasn’t alone even though I felt as though I was alone.

I have gone through depression and I know how much it can hurt. It’s more than just a mental issue but it’s also physical, emotional and spiritual.  Continue reading “Yes I can.. no I can’t..yes..no”

Psalm 51 Miserere

This has to be my favourite psalm. It’s the psalm I encourage everyone to pray and to pray it everyday. The very thing that I love about this psalm is that everyday something new catches my eye.

I suggest that you start by reading it slowly, then meditate and eventually pray with it. God speaks through Scripture.

This psalm reminds us that we are all sinners and that we are in need of His mercy. Imagine a world without mercy, can you do that? I tried imagining it and what I saw was terrible. Without God’s mercy we wouldn’t have confession. Many of us would be like walking skeletons, we’d be lost, confused with no way to get closer to God. We would most likely all be in a state of mortal sin meaning that we would be completely separated from God. There would be no hope.

Thank God this isn’t our reality! We have a merciful God, a God full of love and peace. A God who gave up His own life for us. He died on that cross for the sins we had not even yet committed.

Have mercy on me, God, in your kindness.jesushands
In your compassion blot out my offense.
O wash me more and more from my guilt
and cleanse me from my sin.

My offenses truly I know them;
my sin is always before me
Against you, you alone, have I sinned;
what is evil in your sight I have done.

That you may be justified when you give sentence
and be without reproach when you judge,
O see, in guilt I was born,
a sinner was I conceived.

Indeed you love truth in the heart;
then in the secret of my heart teach me wisdom.
O purify me, then I shall be clean;
O wash me, I shall be whiter than snow. Continue reading “Psalm 51 Miserere”

Tempted to change

A few days ago I was texting someone and they really put things in perspective. This person had asked me what my plans were for the week and I told them that I was wanting to go back to the pool as I had been lazy ever since I got back from Poland.
What this person replied back was a true challenge, …live like Pope Francis taught us, get off that couch!!!!get-off-that-couch-and-go-build-a-better-world-pope-tells-young-people

I needed to get off that ouch as Pope Francis said while addressing us at WYD in Poland. This led me to thinking about a lot of different things such as temptation. How that subject came to mind is a whole different story.

Continue reading “Tempted to change”

Struggling alone isn’t easy

We live in a world where we try to find quick fixes to everything, well that doesn’t work with everything. Sure it might seem like it works in the beginning but after a while a quick fix can cause more damage than how it was before it even broke. I say that because sometimes we think we do something that will fix all our problems but really we are just making it worse.

I will be honest, I struggle with an addiction and I have struggled with this addiction since I was 11. At the time I knew it wasn’t right but I kept doing this thing. And it took me years to realize how far gone I was because of this habbit. When I finally realized all the damaged it had done to me I tried stopping cold turkey. It would work for maybe two days and then I would break down and indulge even more than I would before. It was a vicious cycle.

Thankfully I joined a twelve steps group. This group made me look deeper into myself and discover the root of my problem. Also admitting that I am completely powerless and I can’t control my life was a big life changer for me. After reaching step twelve I felt so much better about myself even if I was still struggling with this addiction. I was struggling but I did have a bit more control over the temptation.  I had to put more effort into it. I stopped attending meetings because I thought that when I was done step twelve I would of been healed. Boy o boy I was wrong.if-god-didnt-forgive-sinners-heaven-would-be-empty-bible-quote

I had to humble myself and approach someone else for help and I did. This time I didn’t just admit to a priest about my faults but I told some of my closest friends. They did not react like I thought they would. Instead they were open about their own personal struggles in their lives. This brought all of us closer. It’s when we share our deepest struggles with others that we really get to know them.

Like I have said before, we all have our personal addictions. Some people have worse ones but either way admitting our addictions isn’t easy. I suggest that if you are reading this and struggle with a really unhealthy addiction please take the first step and tell someone. Stuggling alone isn’t easy, let someone help you carry your cross. It won’t be easy at first but it will be much more rewarding in the end.

I still struggle with this addiction but now I have a support group, people I can call when I’m in temptation or just need to talk to. And I will struggle with this addiction for the rest of my life. I am in recovery and will also be in recovery for the rest of my life as well.

Don’t be afraid to face your fears, recovery is a long road that seems impossible but it’s NOT impossible. We are all strong and we can all overcome temptations. Just believe in yourself.

-My Catholic Living

No Human is Perfect: Part I

I have been asked many time ‘why are you catholic?’ and everytime I come up with a different answer. There are may reasons why I am catholic but the really basic reason why I am catholic is because I want to join God in Heaven. My ultimate goal in life is to become a saint. But I didn’t always think that way.

I grew up in a catholic family but faith didn’t mean anything to me. I went to mass because I was forced to go. I served mass because I liked being the center of attention. I received my first communion when I was in grade 2 and received the sacrament of confirmation when I was in grade 6. I did all these because it was tradition in my family and with school.

I was lucky in high school because I attended a public school but it was very catholic. When I was in grade 12 we would still have morning prayer. So I did get some spiritual nourishment even if I didn’t like it or even wanted. From the outside I looked like this good catholic girl but in the inside I was really struggling because faith made no sense to me.

After high school I moved away to go to university and this is where my life drastically changed. I never stopped going to mass but I still went for the wrong reasons. I went to mass just to please my friends and family.

I guess I should mention that when I was in university I started hanging out with the wrong crowd, I started drinking and going to parties… I even ended up bald…it’s a long story… But I do have to say that I liked being bald.

Not long after I was sitting in a boring class (I hope my prof isn’t reading this :/) and mid class I just had this feeling that I had to go to the Cathedral so I did. The Cathedral is right beside the University so it was just a hop and a skip away.

When I opened the doors to the Cathedral I had this weird feeling which I can’t explain but I just felt like I was supposed to be there. Daily mass was about to start so I did as my parents had taught me. I knelt down and started to pray like I was taught. That was my first honest prayer.

That night I was really confused, I really liked how I felt during mass but I didn’t understand why.

Later that week I went to a house warming party and met a lot of new people. There was something different about these people. They had real joy, something that I had not had since I was really young. I wanted what they had. That night this guy invited my brother and I to a prayer group. I was reluctant to go because I wouldn’t know anyone there. But he went so I followed.

It’s awesome how one single invitation goes a long way. We didn’t know the guy that invited us but we went to the prayer group and it has changed both my brother’s and my life. The guy inviting us probably didn’t know that we were looking for spiritual nourishment and probably invited us just to be nice and make conversation.

I don’t want to make this entry too long so I will keep writing about my conversion in another post…sometime soon… if I feel like it and if you want to know the rest.

On a side note, I went to mass this morning and I really can’t stop smiling. I was in a state where I could receive the Eucharist. Oh the joys that come with mass 🙂 🙂 🙂